Core Truths

I hate this picture. I really do. It was taken over a year ago, and this is the first time I have shown it to anyone. I hated taking it, and I have hated keeping it on my phone. But I love what it means to me. Let me explain. We are all about giving our kids experiences as gifts rather than tangible items. We usually give concert tickets, tickets to a major sporting event, or something like that, something we couldn’t typically afford to do for the entire family, something special for the birthday kid.   Last year our oldest daughter, who was turning 14, talked all summer long about wishing we were taking a beach vacation. She went on and on about wanting to go to the beach. So when her late August birthday rolled around, I planned a trip, for just the two of us, to go to the beach for the weekend. I had no idea how she would react. Like most parenting decisions I make, there was quite a bit of self doubt. I knew it would be a quick trip there and back, and I d...

There is no such thing as perfect parenting. Let me say that again. There is no such thing as perfect parenting. Here it is one more time for the people in the back. There is no such thing as perfect parenting. If you are in doubt, I can assure you that if there were such a thing, whoever came up with it would be a gajillionaire right now! We would have all read the book, we would have all listened to the podcast, and we would have all attended the weekend-long event. But that hasn’t happened because there is no such thing. I think we all, at one point or another, are sure we will do it well, that we will do it better, that we will somehow avoid the mistakes and pitfalls of other parents. Some of us vow not to do a thing like our own parents, and some of us just look around and say, “Did you see that lady and her kid in the store? I would never!” Some of us read all of the books and we are experts before the little bundle of joy even arrives. We are armed ...

Over the course of my lifetime, I have held many different jobs and titles. When I was a young teenager I started off as a babysitter for neighboring families, while in college I spent some time as a bank-teller, I was later a front-office receptionist who made my way up to office manager, and then much later I was a teacher and instructional coach. But of all the jobs I have ever held, there was none I was so terrible at as I was at being a waitress. I mean, I was bad. I’m sure you have experienced the bad type of service I would deliver. I was the waitress who (and these are literal examples) would take down your order, word for word, and then not bring out the salad or the appetizers. I was the waitress who would ask if you needed anything else, would listen to your reply, and then never bring back whatever it was you asked for. I was the waitress who would forget to bring your check so you finally just closed out your ticket with the hostess. I mean, I was bad. There was n...

I do not have to tell you this because you already know it…but I will say it anyway…sometimes things just do not go as planned. The unexpected pops up, another hardship comes after a long line of hardships, things seem to be on the up-and-up when all of a sudden there’s a backslide. I get it. One of my day-to-day mottos for myself is to be thankful anyway. I have a list of things I am thankful for on an on-going basis. It’s like my go-to list when things seem to be on the fritz. If the kids and I are out of sorts, I go to my list. If hubby and I aren’t on the same page about something and we are waiting out a compromise, I go to my list. When there’s more month than money, I go to my list. It helps me get through the big things and the little things when I can be thankful anyway. One of the things I am most thankful for each and every day is that our cars start. Really. It’s like top on my list and I can always be thankful for it. I mean, most of what I do revolves around me g...

Sometimes things get messy. You clean the house, then somehow things get messy. You cook, the kitchen gets messy. You do your work, your workspace gets messy. I don’t know about you, but it seems impossible to continuously keep things neat and orderly. Sometimes a mess, a really big mess, can be the sign of progress. It seems to me you can’t really accomplish something big without creating a bit of chaos in the beginning. When I have the chance to choose what we watch on TV, I enjoy watching the home improvement shows. My favorite is the part where they show how the home is currently and then they show the rendering of what things will look like when the improvements are complete. Perfect, right?  And what comes next? We all know the answer to this one. If you have ever seen “Fixer Upper,” then you know the next step is “DEMO DAY!” Right? They just go in and tear everything apart. Talk about a mess! For me, this is the part of greatest angst. I don’t love demo day....

YOLO. You only live once. This has become quite the popular catch phrase. I have seen it used for people to take chances, take trips, spend lavishly, face fears. You name it, and it can pretty much be applied.  Let’s think about this another way…reworded. Instead of “you only live once,” let’s rephrase this to “you only have one life to live.” Think about that. You only have one life. That’s it. And it’s the one you are living.  Let that sink in. A while back I started really thinking about this concept. This isn’t a practice life and I do not get a do-over. This is it. My one chance. That got me thinking about what I can do to live right, to get the most out of this one life I have been given. I’m not necessarily looking to avoid making mistakes or to try to live perfectly (I’m no fool), but I did start to look at some things differently. When I was a classroom teacher, we were big on “backward design,” meaning we would determine the knowledge and skills we n...

As we begin to gear up for back to school, I am reminded of my number one rule for myself when I was a secondary English teacher. It was pretty much the reason I started in education, and it is what kept me going for the nearly 10 years I was in the classroom. It is how I started each school year, how I started each semester, and how I started each day. My main focus, my number one rule, my mantra if you would, was to help just one kid. In the fall when we would get our class rosters, I wouldn’t get overwhelmed by the fact I had 31 students in one class, I wouldn’t get upset that I had five different preps when I thought I would only have four, and I would try not to complain about whatever inconvenience may have popped up that I wasn’t expecting. Instead, I would start off by reminding myself, if I can help just one kid, if I can make a difference in the life of just one kid, if I can impact the outcome for just one kid, then this will all be worth it.  I would remind mys...