Let It Go

I have three words for you: Let.  It.  Go. (Sorry if you’re twirling around now with your arms out singing at the top of your lungs…totally not my intention).

I’m telling you to just let it go.  Let what go?  Whatever “it” is that you need to let go.

Take for example Exhibit A: my kids' clearly mismatched socks.

I decided years ago that I really do not like to take the time to match socks, so one day I just stopped matching socks.  All socks go in with all the other dirty clothes, they get washed like all other the other dirty clothes, then they get dried, then they are left there at the bottom of the basket after all other laundry is folded and put away.  Why?  I don’t know, one day I just got tired of sitting around matching socks, so I just stopped.  Now, when anyone needs a pair of socks, they just go to the basket and get some.  And when I say get some, I mean any two socks that you believe belong to you that you feel like you can wear that day…matching or not.

That’s not all I’ve let go and given up on.  Years ago when I had three small children and I commuted to a full-time job while my husband worked on his doctorate, I let go of folding towels.  I was exhausted and for the life of me could not understand this revolving door, this life cycle of the towel.  Wash the towel, dry the towel, fold the towel, put away the towel, use the towel, wash the towel, dry the towel….it was endless and exhausting!  So one day I decided I was no longer going to fold and put away towels.  If someone needs a towel, they simply walk to the laundry room and get one.  I’m sure I have added YEARS back onto my life!

You may be thinking, she’s crazy!  And you may be right. One of my sisters cannot stand the thought of wearing mismatched socks, so I send her pictures of our crazy mismatched sock wearing selves from time to time, just to make her anxious.  She actually tried my little plan one day, decided to walk on the wild side and not wear matching socks.  She convinced herself she could do it because she thought, “Big deal, it’s just socks, in my shoes, who would ever see them?”  You better believe she was rushed to the emergency room that day, stripped down to her undies, a hospital gown, and you guessed it, those mismatched socks!  She told me she was so embarrassed and couldn’t stand to look down and see those stupid socks on her feet!

I understand not being able to let go of something, even something simple.  I may be describing things you could just never let go of, and I get that. My confession to you is that I still have not tried curbside grocery pick up.  All my other cool mom friends are doing it.  They’re ordering their groceries on their lunch breaks, late at night before they go to bed, or while they’re putting a little one down for a nap.  Then later they just drive up to the store and their groceries are loaded into the car for them.  Genius!  But not me.  Nope.  I’m fighting traffic, looking for a close-ish parking spot, pushing around a gigantic shopping cart, following my list, picking up random items, going back for the one thing I forgot, waiting in line at the register, and then loading the groceries into my car.  Why?  I just can’t seem to let that go.  I guess I like going to the grocery store and picking things out myself.  So there, I have something I haven’t seem to let go of quite yet.

It's ok, I am letting go of the things that I can.  Like socks and towels.  I’ve also let go of the notion of ever having a perfectly clean house.  This first happened after I visited the home of one of my very sweet friends.  I have always thought the world of her…she is just so smart and funny and nice and beautiful and talented…just a great person.  I went over to her house one day to visit, and I found it was a mess!  Really.  Crazy thing is, it didn’t matter!  We had the best visit.  In fact, I was so relaxed hanging out, and I was ecstatic that she didn’t spend the whole day cleaning before I came over.  It meant that the kids played with the toys that were out, and they stayed out.  It meant we could just talk and not worry about messing up anything.  I was so darned comfortable.  

Even more importantly, my friend explained to me that we are always faced with choices of how we spend our time.  She feels like she can go around cleaning the house all the time or choose to spend her time making memories with her kids.  I’m telling you, her kids will have some pretty amazing memories of the things they did with their mom!  

Since that day, I felt like I had permission to do the same.  At the time, I rarely had people over because it was such a chore to clean and clean and clean. After that day, I felt like I could finally let go of the pressure I put on myself to have the perfect house anytime someone wants to come visit.  Just this weekend a neighbor popped by to get her kids that were here playing.  There were dishes piled up in the sink, scooters in the hallway turned on their sides, the kids’ bathroom looking like a truck stop, laundry baskets spilling out of the laundry room (with socks, I’m sure), and on and on.  But I let her in, and we had a nice little visit, and the world didn’t fall apart.

I agree with my friend, we are faced with a choice every minute of every day of how we are going to spend our time.  My whole deal with the messy house, the mismatched socks, the unfolded towels, is to fill that time doing something else, something more valuable.  It’s about letting go of things we tell ourselves we have to do and instead doing the things we want to do. So whatever “it” is, just let it go!