The Great Purge

Man, I sure do love a good purging!  If you have talked to me for even five minutes, you have probably heard me talk about “The Great Purge of a Few Years Ago,” or how I throw stuff away the kids leave out, or maybe how I have been working to reduce my clothes into a simple capsule wardrobe.  I mean, I really like to not get stuff and to not keep stuff.  Now, if you walk into my house right this minute, I promise you will not think I am a Minimalist by any stretch of the imagination.  You may not even know that we’ve been purging our belongings steadily for the past three years, but if you knew me Pre-The Great Purge, then you would know, I’ve come a long way, baby!

Like anything, I’ve learned that purging is about more than just purging.  So let’s back up.

Pre-The Great Purge, I would get rid of things.  Like, I would get rid of some of my clothes if I had been shopping a lot and didn’t have enough hangers.  I would get rid of stuff before, during, and after a move.  I would get rid of stuff if I ran out of places to put it.  Mind you, I have paid for storage units, and I have stored stuff in our garage to the point we could never park in it. I would have just stuff and stuff and stuff.

Once, my husband and I decided we would clean out some of our belongings.  We had been married for about ten years at that point, had three kids, and had a big house with a garage we couldn’t park in, extra closets that would barely close, and a walk-in attic that had no space left. We rented a dumpster.

It was in that clean out that I realized I had kept every single piece of clothing our kids had ever worn.  Every piece.  Not like their baptismal gown, I’m talking like the dinosaur shirt that had permanent slobber stains around the neck.  Every single piece of clothing from three kids that were at the time 4, 6, and 8.  We also realized we had both kept every single paper, notebook, binder, and graded assignment from our undergraduate and graduate degrees! “Just in case” we ever needed to reference anything.  We also had every single birthday gift, wedding gift, housewarming gift (by this point we had lived in six different houses), etc.  There was just so much STUFF!

So we filled a dumpster and I’m pretty sure we still couldn’t park both cars in the garage.

A few years later we made The Big Move and moved to the ‘burbs.  We started over in a new town with new jobs and new schools and a new house.  We struggled adjusting to most of it, but we just couldn’t get over that house.  It was not a good fit for us.  When we realized it just didn’t have the storage space we were accustomed to and we needed to really get rid of some stuff, it just put us in a bad mood. It wasn’t even important stuff….I remember there was very little storage space in the master bathroom so we needed to throw out items that were expired or that we didn’t use…and that made us bitter! I think it was the necessity of downsizing our things with no desire to actually want to that made us so irritated.  Anyway, we threw out some more stuff, and we still couldn’t park in the garage.

Finally, came the time for The Great Purge.  One of my husband’s co-workers recommended the book, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.”  I think I must have originally thought it would be about how to sort and store things and keep things picked up….yeah….that wasn’t it at all.

I read the book, cover to cover.  I was fascinated.  The book actually gives the readers a step-by-step way to clean out your belongings; like an order of how you should go through your things. The book actually explains that you should not store things, that you don’t go back to things you store.  It goes on to explain that no one wants all that stuff you “save for the kids one day.” Finally, if you are deciding whether or not you want to keep something, you ask yourself, “does this give me joy?”

“Does this give me joy?”

Well, dang! I could get rid of mostly everything if that’s the case! All that stuff that’s strung out all over the place and then I have to pick it up…ain’t no joy in that.  The size smaller than I am now clothes still hanging in my closet…ain’t no joy in that.  The boxes in the garage that force me to park in the driveway, even when it’s cold, even when it’s raining…ain’t no joy there either.

So we followed the book…we started The Great Purge.

We piled all of our clothes in the center of the room, and then we purged.  We took everything out of every bathroom cabinet, and then we purged.  We took everything out of every kitchen drawer, and then we purged.  We took out every DVD, and then we purged. We went to the garage, and we took out every book and every box and every storage bin….and then I had to stop.

I had to stop and look at the years of collecting.  The books, the boxes, the bins…they were signs of times that were gone, a life that was now changed.

Before The Great Purge and even before The Big Move, my husband and I both made some major career changes.  Although we loved our jobs, my husband knew he needed a new path in which he could be equally passionate, but that didn’t require the same amount of time away from the family.  We moved, his job changed, and his schedule slowed down.  When we became pregnant with our fifth child, we knew a new baby was going to require some more changes.  We decided it would be best for the family if I stayed home with our kids.

The Great Purge took on a new meaning at that point.  It wasn’t about needing more hangers or not having enough cabinet space, it was about learning who we are and what brings this new version of us joy.  This new version of us that focused more on our family than our careers, and a new version of us that realized our kids were growing up whether or not we kept every single paper and artwork.

That day in the garage, sifting through the books, the boxes, and the bins, we both recommitted ourselves to our family and what we now valued.  That day in the garage we reflected on where we had been, and then we embraced the new path and where we were going. 

We sifted and we sorted, but in the end, we hardly stored.

The Great Purge taught me that less really is more.  Over the years I have learned that the less stuff we keep around, the more time I have to do things I enjoy since I am no longer sifting, sorting, and storing.  I have learned that keeping all of the kids’ baby clothes doesn’t keep the kids as babies.  I have learned that keeping stuff from a job, doesn’t mean you still work there.  And most importantly, I have learned that decluttering the house can also declutter the heart.

I can proudly say that, for the most part, we own only the clothes which we actually wear, which saves so much time getting ready. We own only the books and DVDs that bring us joy, which saves so much space and clutter. And, if the garage door were actually working right now, we could actually park the cars in it!