A few months ago my hubby and I realized that since we have had kids, we have thrown 54 kid birthday parties. Yes, 54 parties. I would like to tell you we could remember them all, but that is not entirely true.
We started recounting all of the parties; the places, the themes, the friends and family who were there. We started with our first born, made a list, remembered them all. Then we moved on to our second born, made a list, got stumped on a couple of them, then finally remembered them all. We got to our third born…and we were stuck. We couldn’t remember them all. There were a few years that were just a blur. We finally asked our daughter, who had just turned 13, if she could help us fill in some blanks, you know, from when she was about three until around age seven.
Okay, maybe I deserve a “Worst Mom of the Year” award, but life sometimes just comes at you fast. At the time she was little, my husband and I had just relocated our family to a new town, we had both just started new jobs, and my husband had just started working on a doctoral degree. We had actually agreed at the time that we would hold off having more kids…and two months later I stood in our bedroom doorway holding a positive pregnancy test!
While there are many things (more than I would like to admit) that I do not remember from when our big kids were little, there are many, sweet, precious memories I hold dear.
As for this little third child of ours, I so vividly remember her as a baby. She had the longest, wispiest, blackest hair I have ever seen on a little one. I would hold her and push the long, black pieces away from her face showing her big blue eyes that would shine brighter than the brightest blue sky on a clear, crisp day. She would smile up at me, revealing a single tooth that had recently erupted from her smooth pink gums. I can still feel the warmth of her forehead as I would kiss it, give her back her pacifier, and she would bury her face in my neck and shoulder. We would sit, heart-to-heart, as I would sing her name as a lullaby and we would rock and rock.
This past week I had the chance to rock and rock with this girl again. Okay, not like when she was little but it was every bit as special to me. For her recent thirteenth birthday, we gifted her tickets to see one of her favorite music artists in concert. I had the pleasure of taking her. At an age where I know we will slowly begin to spend less and less time together as she slowly becomes more and more independent, on this night I soaked up every bit of fun and closeness that I possibly could!
Her black wispy hair has given way to blonde, and on this night it was curled, overly hair sprayed, and was pulled up by a carefully selected scrunchie chosen to perfectly coordinate with her outfit. The outfit had been chosen weeks in advance, and I am pretty sure was part of a poll on Instagram. Her bright blue eyes are now hazel and on this night they showed every color of the sand and ocean each time she would look over at me and shout, “Oh my goodness, I love this song!” She no longer cuddles with me on my lap, but on this night we sat arm to arm, her squeezing my shoulder every time she would get excited about what was coming up next. And on this night, my little baby and I, we rocked and rocked with every song that was played!
When the big kids were little, and I was a young, new mom, it seemed every other veteran parent would stop me to say, “Cherish these moments, they go by so fast.”
I would think, “What moments? The baby literally just threw up on my shoe…and I am wearing flip flops!”
At the time, the moments that stood out were constant feedings, sleepless nights, temper tantrums, kid television shows incessantly blaring in the background, bottles to wash, food to mash, soiled clothes to wash, and kid parties to plan.
But there were other moments. The still, quiet moments. The times I would place my finger in their tiny hand and they would wrap all their warm, pudgy fingers around mine. The times they were heavy and asleep, snoring on my chest. The times they would hug my neck, so tight, one more time before I tucked them in at night.
The truth is, these are the moments I cherish. These are the moments that go by too fast.
I may not remember every party, or every “first,” but I am telling you now, I will remember all the times my girl and I got to rock and rock. I will remember her telling me to stand up and dance with her to one of her favorite songs. I will remember her telling me to turn on the light on my phone as we raised them and swayed them in the air. I will remember her telling me thank you over and over again and her telling me how much fun she had on that night.
The truth is, even this is going by too fast. But like those sweet kisses on her warm forehead, I will cherish these moments!
tears in my eyes- so true.
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