You Are Beautiful

The truth is, you are beautiful. 

Let me explain.

This has been a hard truth for me. Sure, there are times I feel beautiful, times like when I get all done up for date night, times after a new hair cut and highlights, times I’m just feeling good about myself. There are times I have been told I am beautiful, times like mentioned above, and times like when my husband looks at me and I can tell from the deepest part of his being he means it. 

It’s not that being told “you are beautiful” is so difficult, it’s whether or not I actually believe it, whether or not it feels true to me. But there have been a couple of times, times that have stuck with me, times that make being beautiful believable.

Years ago, when I was still a relatively young mom, and I had three young children, I remember feeling stretched beyond belief. I was a teacher full-time, and of course, I took on any other activity or role that was tossed my way. To say we were busy would be a drastic understatement. I remember the bags under my eyes, I remember not washing my hair and hiding it in any up-do that would work, I remember drinking coffee in to-go cups just to make it to the end of the day, I remember keeping my desk drawer stocked with snacks because who knew when I would finally leave school.

One day, in the midst of this craziness, I arrived to school to see an email from a fellow teacher. A teacher who I sometimes worked closely with on various projects, but one that I rarely talked to personally. In fact, I had myself convinced that she didn’t even like me. I felt like she intentionally avoided me and I was just sure that, for whatever reason, she just flat out didn’t care for me. But then there was that email. I think the subject line was “You are Beautiful.” I thought, “What? Is this some forward?” I opened the email and read what she wrote. She said that on her way to work that morning she heard the song “Beautiful” by Christina Aguilera. She said it made her think of me and she wanted me to know.

WHAT?????

I didn’t know what to say! In fact, I don’t even remember what I said. I don’t know if I emailed her back or said thank you the next time I saw her. I mean, this took me by surprise and was out of nowhere! Remember, I didn’t even think she liked me!

But I realized that day, she must have seen something beautiful. Maybe it was when I would switch into Mom-Mode when my very young kids would come into my classroom after a full day of teaching. Maybe it was me working with the Student Council kids in and out of my classroom. Maybe it was the kids I would help and that I refused to give up on. Maybe it was something she saw when I would try to help a first-year teacher. I have no idea. What I do know, is it was a time I didn’t feel beautiful at all. I felt tired, I felt overwhelmed, I felt I was giving it my all and still falling short. I also felt unbelievably humbled that she would think of me and would share that with me.

Another time, several years later, but kind of the same story, I was humbled and surprised again. This time I had four kids, my husband was working miles away in another town, we were new to our community, and I was newly pregnant with baby number five after a recent miscarriage. Similar to before, I was tired, worn thin, and emotionally and physically drained. It took everything I had to get the big kids off to school, to drop off the baby to daycare, to cry and then force myself to stop crying on my way to work BECAUSE I had to drop the baby off at daycare. I was worried about my new pregnancy and I was worried about more daycare in my future. 

But, for whatever reason that day, I pulled myself together. That morning, after the daycare drop off, while I was still on my way to work, I gave myself a good stern talking-to. That morning, I made a decision to hold my head high, to pray, to work through the worry, to come up with a plan, and to trust that God can do the impossible. That morning, I got out of my car, and I strutted into work, knowing I was taken care of. That morning, when I finally made it to my desk, I had an email from a fellow teacher. 

This email was from a teacher that I was pretty sure liked me. We often chatted, but we weren’t necessarily close at the time. The email went on to say that she saw me that morning. While she was in her car finishing her makeup (she, too, was a busy mom), she spotted me across the parking lot. She watched me walk into work and just wanted to tell me “you are beautiful.”

WHAT????

How could she possibly see the inner peace I had found that morning? How could she hear the prayer in my heart from across the parking lot? How did she pick up on the newfound determination?

But that’s the thing about being beautiful. I don’t care who you are, what you look like, what you’re going through, I don’t care if your hair is done or not, I don’t care if you got enough sleep or not, I don’t care if you’ve been crying all day, being beautiful is an inside job!

Think of it this way…you know the saying, “beauty is only skin deep.” We say that, right? When someone LOOKS beautiful but then you get to know them and the beauty stops there. 

Have you ever heard anyone say, “she sure is beautiful on the inside, but not on the outside!” No way!! If you find someone beautiful on the inside, that person is automatically beautiful on the outside! No doubt about it! Even though the opposite simply isn’t true.

The truth is, we can be exactly who and what we were created to be. We can hold a deep-rooted belief that we are strong, capable, loving, giving, courageous, bold, caring, daring, and we can just be. It is in that belief that you will wake up and you will forget that you have not washed your hair, you will look past the bags under your eyes, you will push out the fears and the doubts and the worry, you will say a little prayer, and you will see…YOU. ARE. BEAUTIFUL.

The truth is, you are!