Skip to main content

It's Not About the Toaster

Recently I did something big for our family. It may seem small and insignificant to most (unless you’ve ever tried to toast anything at our house), but to us, it was kind of a big deal. It’s something I could have done a long time ago, but doing it now is a sign the winds are starting to come in differently. My big move is that I bought our family a new toaster.


Yes, that’s right, a new toaster.


Let me explain.


We’ve had our current toaster for somewhere between the last 10 to 20 years. It’s either a wedding gift from 20 years ago, or a cheap replacement of a wedding gift from maybe 10 years ago. Notice the colorful design on the side which is a result of a bread bag that had the unfortunate chance to be too close to the toaster and melted all on the side of it. If you’ve ever tried to toast anything here, you would know that it only toasts one side of each piece of bread at a time. No matter what setting it is on, it never automatically pops up, therefore it will definitely burn, unless you are there to manually pop it up. And once you do pop it up, you have to flip the pieces of bread to then toast the other side. I guess, like most inconveniences, we just got used to it. 


You may be asking, like our kids have asked and their friends have asked and our friends have asked, why not just get a new toaster?


We’ve actually talked for several years now about getting a new toaster. I mean, we’ve managed to buy new cars, buy new appliances, buy new living room furniture, but we’ve somehow not managed to buy a new toaster. But I have a very good reason…actually, I have a very good explanation as to why that is.


Anytime I would say we were going to buy a new toaster, Brandon would always say, let’s get one we actually like that we don’t want to hide in a cabinet. He would tell me how he’s always wanted a four-slice toaster, and while we’re at it, make it a stainless one. I don’t know if you have ever checked the price of a four-slice stainless steel toaster, but I have. And I find they are quite pricey for being a toaster. While it costs a lot less than other things we’ve purchased over the past 10 years, it’s still well above what we think a toaster is worth. 


And that’s it. He wanted a four-slice stainless steel toaster that we both believed to cost more than a toaster is worth. I just wanted a new toaster that worked properly but that he believed was a waste of money because he wouldn’t like it, and we already owned a toaster he didn’t like. 


We wouldn’t agree, we wouldn’t compromise, and we wouldn’t buy a new toaster.


I would like to tell you this scenario stops at the toaster, but we all know that’s not true. Turns out, we have done the same thing in bigger, more important matters, like trying to pay off student loan debt. We have managed to be “successful” in so many things and in so many ways, but we seemed to allow our spending habits to be at least as big as our paychecks, and we never quite learned to get those loans paid off before now. 


That’s not to say we didn’t talk about it. Oh, we definitely talked about it. We talked about it at least as many times as we talked about buying a new toaster. We could very easily agree we wanted to pay off the student loans, but we had very different ways to go about it. At any given time we had different viewpoints about where to cut spending or how to increase income. We had different viewpoints about whether we should consolidate or not consolidate. We had different viewpoints about which to pay off first, highest amounts or highest interest. 


And just like that, we wouldn’t agree, we wouldn’t compromise, and we wouldn’t start paying off the debt. 


But like the toaster, that has all changed. 


No, we didn’t go for the four-slice stainless steel toaster, but we have met our end goal of being able to make toast. And no, we haven’t managed to pay off all our student loans yet, but we are getting closer and closer with each passing month. 


The truth is, we only somewhat agree, and we both somewhat compromised, but we are doing what we said we would do.


Sometimes I think we get so wrapped up in the way we think things should be, or the way we think things should be done, that we allow that to stop us from doing anything at all. My kids just wanted to toast their bread. We had to forget about the aesthetics, we had to forget about the means, and we just had to find a way to get to the end and get that bread toasted. Brandon and I just want to be free of debt and live a life filled with choices. We have to forget about whose way is best, we have to forget about the means, and we just have to find a way to get to the end and get all of those loans paid off.


I think we both have realized that it doesn’t really matter how you do things, as long as you are doing something. It doesn’t matter if it’s perfect, as long as you are making progress. It doesn’t matter if it’s the way you want to do it, as long as you are getting the results you want to get.


The truth is, no matter what it is, big or small, we have the power to do the things we want to do. If we focus on the end and not the in-between, we will eventually and inevitably get to where we want to be. The truth is, if you know what you want and if you can stop standing still, you will find you are on the move and moving closer to what you want!


Comments

Popular Posts

Let It Go

I have three words for you: Let.   It.   Go. (Sorry if you’re twirling around now with your arms out singing at the top of your lungs…totally not my intention). I’m telling you to just let it go.   Let what go?   Whatever “it” is that you need to let go. Take for example Exhibit A: my kids' clearly mismatched socks. I decided years ago that I really do not like to take the time to match socks, so one day I just stopped matching socks.   All socks go in with all the other dirty clothes, they get washed like all other the other dirty clothes, then they get dried, then they are left there at the bottom of the basket after all other laundry is folded and put away.   Why?   I don’t know, one day I just got tired of sitting around matching socks, so I just stopped.   Now, when anyone needs a pair of socks, they just go to the basket and get some.   And when I say get some, I mean any two socks that you believe belong to you that ...

Keep Smiling, Keep Shining

Here’s some truth—-you need friends! I am very serious and I am speaking this from the bottom of my heart.   It seems like this may go without saying, but I am saying it anyway.   And if nothing else, I need to be reminded of this myself! When I was younger, like when I was a kid, I LOVED making new friends.   And this was something that was easy and not easy for me.   It was easy because I was outgoing and eager to meet new people.   It was not easy because I was homeschooled and did not meet new people very often!   I still love making new friends, keeping up with old friends, but…. Here is the hard part…how often do we actually call on our friends?   I mean really reach out and connect, ask for advice, pour out our hearts, lean on them? I remember a day a couple of years ago.   I was having a rough time, just trying to sort through some things, dealing with adulting.   I had plans one day for a friend to come ove...

The Great Purge

Man, I sure do love a good purging!   If you have talked to me for even five minutes, you have probably heard me talk about “The Great Purge of a Few Years Ago,” or how I throw stuff away the kids leave out, or maybe how I have been working to reduce my clothes into a simple capsule wardrobe.   I mean, I really like to not get stuff and to not keep stuff.   Now, if you walk into my house right this minute, I promise you will not think I am a Minimalist by any stretch of the imagination.   You may not even know that we’ve been purging our belongings steadily for the past three years, but if you knew me Pre-The Great Purge, then you would know, I’ve come a long way, baby! Like anything, I’ve learned that purging is about more than just purging.   So let’s back up. Pre-The Great Purge, I would get rid of things.   Like, I would get rid of some of my clothes if I had been shopping a lot and didn’t have enough hangers.   I would get rid of stuf...

In the Rearview Mirror

I can still remember the first time I had to drop him off at a new place.  Our firstborn, our little baby boy.  Until that day, he had only stayed with family or at home with a babysitter.  But on this day, I had to drop him off to a new babysitter on my first day of work.  I can still see him, dressed in a little collared shirt and jeans, his little blue tennis shoes sticking out over the edge of the carseat.  I dropped him off, barely keeping myself together, and I drove away with tears in my eyes.  I remember looking through the rearview mirror as I pulled away, making sure he was safe inside. When he was four and entered into Pre-K, I was a nervous wreck. I couldn’t believe this little baby, this four year-old would be away from me and at “big school” all day long.  And the tugs at the heart continued through soccer practices, basketball practices, religious class, and kid parties. You hug them, you kiss them, and you remind them everything is...

Magic at the Roller Rink

You’ve heard this before, right? Marriage ain’t easy.   We say this because it is true.   It just isn’t easy. Worth it? Yes. Easy? No. The best thing that’s ever happened to me? Absolutely! There have been times in my marriage that I would relive over and over again.   Times that validate every ooey-gooey feeling I have ever had.   Moments that make me feel like I need to pinch myself as a reminder this is real life. And there are other times that you wish you could just close your eyes and it would be tomorrow already.   Times you look and search for the two people that said, “I do.”   I mean, even the best marriages are sometimes ugly. We have been through our fair share of ugly times. Thankfully, those times come and then they go, and I find myself in the middle of a fairy tale all over again. I had one of those precious real-life fairy tale moments recently.   A few weeks ago we decided to take the kids roller skat...