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Apples and Potatoes

Sometimes we get parenting wins.  You know, you come up with some great plan, new routine, fresh perspective, creative consequences, or you simply say the right thing at the right time and voila! It seems to happen like magic and things just work.

And other times you get apples and potatoes.

Let me explain.

It was a few weeks ago, hubby and I were in cahoots and on board with one another to turn over a new leaf and to get serious about making some healthy eating choices.  For the most part, we were already on track and simply needed some tweaking and parameters.  The real challenge and kind of final piece to this puzzle was getting our kids on board as well.  I really wanted them to take ownership of their healthy food choices, and I wanted them to want to steer clear of junk food.  And boy, did I have a plan!

We decided we would have the kids watch some of the same documentaries we have watched that have been eye-openers for us in terms of overall health and wellness and healthy food choices.  I thought, if they have the same information I have, they’ll want to make the same choices I make.  Seems logical, right?

So we watched the documentary and they were, as far as I was concerned, hook, line, and sinker. We followed it up with a full-on family conversation about changes we all needed to make and the benefits we would gain.  I have to tell you, I was feeling pretty cool.

My next step was to meal plan together—pretty clever, I know! 

I gave each of the kids a small note paper and asked for them to divide it into two…on one side write their favorite veggies and on the other their favorite fruits.  That way, when I went shopping, I could stock up on all of the things they love.  Again, I am pretty much genius status at this point.

That’s when it happened.  

I gathered up the kids’ papers, started to sort through them, and there it was.  Our oldest son’s response…apples on one side, potatoes on the other. 

I suddenly started thinking like Bubba in the movie “Forrest Gump” when he lists off shrimp dishes.  I was thinking, “apple sauce, apple slices, apple pie…baked potato, mashed potatoes, potato salad….”  I realized this was no longer headed in the direction I thought it was going.

And that’s just it.  Parenting doesn’t always go the way we think it’s going to go.  Like usually ever.

Once when our big kids were little, our oldest daughter was upset. I bet she was about four years old, and she was full on temper tantrum going to bed one night.  I thought, I’m going to get her a cool rag, tuck her in one more time, and then I will be like super mom of the night.  So I got her the cool rag, placed it on her forehead and tucked her in, and left her room.  Next thing you know, she’s at the door saying the cool rag isn’t cool anymore and she cried for me to fix it.  So I did.  I got the rag, tucked her in, left her room.  Then she appeared again. I did all of that one more time before I was right back at square-one tucking in a crying kid saying, “You better not come out of this room again.”  Not the way I thought that would go.  Not a parenting win.

Recently I finally figured out how to set screen times on our big kids’ phones.  Again, I was feeling like a rock star, feeling like both parents and kids were going to get what they wanted out of the deal.  Kids could have their phones, listen to music, do their school work, but we could set limits on how much time they could play games and be on social media.  What a win, right? Well, I’ll be darned if every other day they aren’t asking for more time because they have to check with so-and-so about their homework, or they used all of their screen time in class for a project, or I have to leave one of them to babysit and I want to make sure they have messaging so they can contact me.  Again, not quite going the way I pictured it going.   

And that’s the way it goes…parents trying to outthink and outsmart the kids, the kids somehow being one step ahead.


I’ve said it once and I will say it again, most of us have no idea what we are doing.  The truth is, parenting is often a grab bag of “I think this might work.” Whether it’s apples and potatoes, bedtimes and temper tantrums, or more serious rules and consequences, the best we can do is to love them and to keep trying.  Oh, and when you do get the parenting win, because we all know it sometimes does happen, celebrate.  Celebrate for us all! Way to go!

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