Oh, parents. If you are reading this on Sunday night, I know you are tired. I see you. I am you. We have spent countless hours shopping for matching dresses and shoes for the girls, a collared shirt our boys reluctantly agree to wear, maybe something new for mom and dad. We have scoured the shelves for their favorite candies, and we have outdone ourselves on the size of the baskets. We have cleaned and cooked and cleaned and put away the stuff in the kitchen. We have bought eggs, dyed eggs, stuffed eggs, hidden eggs, found eggs, stepped on eggs, eaten eggs. And now, we sit.
As I sit thinking back on the past few days, I am literally in awe. I am in awe and it has absolutely nothing to do with the outfits, the baskets, the food, or the eggs.
While all of those things are commonplace and business-as-usual for us, this year we made one dramatic change. We decided not to travel out-of-state to spend the holiday with friends and family. Instead, we opted to stay home. Yes, we really missed spending time with those back home. Yes, we wanted to stay here to rest and kind of catch our breath in the midst of a busy spring. But the real bottom line is we wanted to participate in and embrace the various Masses and celebrations at our own church. We really wanted to try to just take it all in.
We first attended the evening Mass on Thursday night…there were no lights. No fanfare, no celebration. We watched as our priest washed the feet of some of our parishioners. We walked out silently when Mass ended. We all knew, we could all feel, this was a time of great sadness, a time of waiting.
We attended Mass again on Friday night…again, there were no lights, and there was no music. We watched as our 17-year-old son helped carry in a large cross that was placed on the alter for all to venerate. The procession was slow and solemn. When Mass ended, I felt empty and lonely. There was more sadness, more waiting.
On Saturday morning we were back at church to help decorate and get the church ready for the upcoming, much awaited Easter Masses. Finally, there were flowers everywhere! Finally, light seemed to pour in from every window! Finally, the entire place seemed brighter than ever before! We were even more excited when we attended Mass again that night for the Easter Vigil. Again, the church was dark but this time was lit by the candles held by each one of us in the church. The light from our tiny candles was literally piercing through the darkness!
Before all of this, I will be honest, I had not truly reflected on the loss of light in the world on that Good Friday, and the return of light on Easter morning. I had not really reflected on what it must have been like to go to the tomb feeling such loss and darkness only to find light and fulfillment in its emptiness.
I know there are times we may feel lost, alone, empty, and sad. Sometimes the light within us seems too dim and we wonder if it will ever shine as brightly as before. There are times we experience such sadness and loss, it seems impossible to imagine a future with any amount of fulfillment. There are times we face such struggles and heartache, it seems the harsh journey may never end.
But I am here to tell you, I know there is another, brighter, day.
I think sometimes we get so wrapped up in what we think we know will happen, that we forget to find hope in the things that could be. We are so focused on what we can actually see, that we lose sight of the vision we once had. We become so convinced by our own feelings of loneliness or sadness, that we can’t imagine the joy that may be waiting for us.
I think that must have been what it was like the day the women walked into the empty tomb. They didn’t find what they were looking for, rather they saw what the world was waiting for…joy, hope, light and fulfillment there in all the emptiness!
As I sit here, amid the candy wrappers and overturned baskets, as I listen to the kids’ bouts from what can only be the result of eating an entire chocolate bunny, I feel a great sense of peace among all of the chaos. I know we busy ourselves and make a lot of fuss over things that just aren’t worth fussing over. I know the dresses and the baskets, the cooking and the candy…these things will fade away. The truth is, if we can let go of the things that won’t last, we can embrace what will last forever. If we can look past what we think we know will be, we can find hope in the things that could be. The truth is, we can find light after darkness and we can find joy in emptiness! I hope your Easter has been filled with joy, hope, and light!
AMEN!! Beautifully written Opal!!!
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